3340 Words! It is Finished!!

My family has been through hell because of me.  How and why they all still love me is beyond my understanding, really.   They tell me I have always been a steady presence when they have had problems, so there is no question that I have earned the returned favor.  I wish I remembered when I was a steady presence instead of a constant nuisance.  

Woot! Thanks for reading!!

1409 Words

The three of them arrive with a cartoon like clamor.  Annie is stumbly and confused, Carly loud and frightened, Andy in charge, but clearly not in control.  

150 Words

"I can tell you he was alive when we put him in the ambulance.”  

(Interesting day...)

1586 Words

“This family has done enough hospital time.”  

Bruce and Casey are huddled together in the corner of a dismal, gray-walled, surgery waiting room.  They have not been able to find Rachel.  They only know they are expected to wait in this 4^th floor holding area so the doctor will know where to find them when there is news.  

(If you're wondering about progress, dear friends - I am just shy of 60K words - 200-250 pages - and the story is winding down. I am 11 days from absolute deadline.)

2102 Words

It has been eight days of unmitigated chaos and Bruce is ready for one blessedly quiet night with a Cuban cigar and a 15 year old bottle of whiskey.

746 Words

And so, against a wall of protests from the entire family, Annie had spent the last two nights with Bruce.  

(Sunday malaise...guests coming for dinner.)  

1518 Words

Jane sighs and wishes she knew more.  When she saw Annie Friday, they had happily reviewed her green grocery list, compared it carefully to her tan meal plan, and talked about setting a table, putting on make-up, and smiling through small moments of confusion.    

(Working on Saturday morning is not fun.  But I'm on the downhill side of this mountain.  Hope to finish the book ahead of schedule!)

1545 Words

The word is there somewhere.  I say the word languish, even though I know it’s not the right one.  I hope if I mumble it, the word will resemble the one I need to say.  Let’s call that a compensatory strategy.  Andy gets it and says back to me, “Lettuce?”  

1542 Words

Mornings with Andy are the most difficult.  I wake up every day wondering where I am and who the man is next to me in the bed.   Then I remember to look for notes and I see the one in the frame by my bed.  You are Married to Andy and He Loves You.

2225 Words

Andy can’t contain a loud gush of laughter, which is the perfect antidote for the circle of concern that has grown concentrically from Annie and Bruce all the way to the rangy looking family who just piled out of a 1970 VW van to watch this pitiful show.

1935 Words

Jake and Carly spent another two hours unpacking and repacking boxes before they found the faded red and yellow Ohio Star quilt that, according to their mother, had been Aunt Min’s death bed project.  “I wonder if mom remembers how ugly this thing is,” Carly said, shaking spiders and dust from the folds. 

1582 Words

Eventually, Annie chipped through the edge of awkwardness that squeezed them all and said, “I’d rather be telling you I’m dying of cancer than telling you your dad and I are splitting up – but we are.  We’re getting a divorce.”  It was a typically convoluted stacking of emotional phrases from their mother’s mouth, and both Jake and Carly sat stunned and silent while they processed “dying of cancer” in the same sentence with “divorce”.  

1513 Words

 I realize I am over-dramatically flinging my hands around my head as I say “all of this” so I very intentionally return my flailing appendages to my side and take a deep breath.  

1607 Words

They stopped for tea and scones at a beach front café after leaving the fateful turn in the road that day.  Annie loved afternoon tea.  It made her feel refined and relaxed in the days before the accident, and she seemed to fall into the familiarity of the ritual that day.  

1547 Words

The ill-defined gloominess of the weather matches Bruce’s mood perfectly. Like Bruce, it seems Mother Nature is brooding in a negative leaning way.  The skies are overcast, but the clouds aren’t threatening rain – just malaise with a chance of angst.   

(Daily goal update: I now have 3 weeks, aka 21 days, to finish this novel.  To that end, I absolutely must keep a commitment to write at least 1500 words EVERY day for 21 days...unless the story ends sooner. :-)  I have 41,667 words now, which = 138 pages.  No days off until finished. Woot!) 

869 Words

I am often confused and when something befuddles me I tend to collapse into a state of overwhelm that sometimes looks like anger and sometimes looks like crazy.  It always feels like fear.  

1625 Words

I have a recurring nightmare about driving a car that's spinning out of control.  People gather around and watch me, but no one helps me.  I am afraid it’s a premonition about something that might actually happen when I’m driving – the spinning out of control part – but Dr. Anita tells me it’s more likely a subconscious expression of how I feel about the way things are going in my life right now.  A bit out of control with lots of bystanders who don’t know how to help.  

(I know I promised no excuses...but dang, kitchen remodelers are distracting!)

1896 Words

Jake’s arrival is a pin in the bubble of tension in the room.  The first thing he notices when he steps into Bert’s office is the beautiful woman with the lap full of children, but he knows they are not really why he is here .  “Hola a todos,” he nods to everyone before he instinctively walks to the corner of the room where he is sure he is least welcome. 

(Thanks for reading, dearies.) 

843 Words

The sound of the smugglers’ gruntings, the smell of their tequila soaked bigotes and the taste of their sweat stained panuelos pushed into her mouth all hung on Maria like a lead apron of shame.

(Ridiculous day!)

2410 Words

 I can read words. Sometimes I simply can’t make them make sense in my head.  Like the note in the frame on the kitchen counter that reads: The Cats Are Leo and Don.  Leo is the Bigger One. They Are Brothers.  I read that note for several days before I admit to Andy that I don’t know what all those words mean.  He picks up two cats, one in his left arm and one in his right. 

“These are your cats, Annie.”  

(Thanks today to my partner in creative crimes, Jane Gillman, who encouraged me to get my writing done first, then move on to the day's demands.  It worked, Jane!  I'm finished before 1 PM!)

2239 Words

The tired lines and reflex scowl she supposed Bruce had earned while sitting by Annie’s ICU bed would soften and brighten into that smile of his that never failed to melt her heart.  It was his “I love you” face.  Casey needed to see that face tonight.  

1228 Words

The pen and ink textbook drawing of the muscular man with his hands on a boulder, leaning and straining into a steeply inclined rock with all his might is behind every blink today.  But I cannot remember his name.

(Cold hard facts...I am 9K words behind my intended target for this stage of the rush toward 60.  The name of the guy my character Annie can't remember is Sisyphus...and I'm starting to feel a bit like him.)  

0 Words

I have not been idle.  Just not writing.  I will be back at the desk tomorrow.  Please come back. 

0 Words

Kitchen packing my lovely peeps.  I will catch up.  I promise.

2139 Words

Casey had gone digging into her Swedish heritage for something symbolic when she was considering permanent ink at the almost-past-that-phase age of 28.  When she learned her forebearers in Sweden might have believed the dragonfly flew around checking for bad souls who needed their eyes or mouths or ears stitched closed, she had her tattoo.  
(Are you wondering, yet, what all these words add up to?  I'm at about 30,000 words...88 pages.  Miles to go but on the road.  Thanks for sharing it with me.)

1975 Words

“Well…wow.  That’s a lot of wide open field to mow.”  Bruce loved the way Casey talked when she was fully engaged in a conversation.  Her tone was buttery and warm, her words prose-like.  He was smiling and nodding on the other end of the line.  

2260 Words

Casey flinches slightly at the mention of Annie, then leans with a gentle but intentional thud against the kitchen counter.  She takes a long draw on the Tecate and finally jumps into the conversation they’ve been trying not to have since Jake arrived. “I haven’t talked to your dad yet today, what’s the latest?”  

(Well...look at me posting before 9 PM.  Amazing what you can get done before the whole day is gone if you sit down in the morning and OPEN THE DOCUMENT!)

2239 Words

The swelling in your brain became serious enough the doctors had to drain some blah-di-blah spinal fluid she tells me.  Am I fine now? I ask. Because I feel fine. Dr. Anita smiles again and suddenly - did I close my eyes? - Dr. Rebecca is standing next to her.  Her red hair is shorter.  It looks cute.  I tell her she looks very sassy.  She tells me I look very sassy.  Shiny is how I feel I say.  

2055 Words

Carly arrived at the hospital hopeful, lugging an armload of photo albums that were in a typical Annie state of disarray and mismanagement.  Baby pictures and wedding pictures – both weddings – were stuffed together between pages, but not secured in any way.  First day of school and last day of college photos slid around inside the same slick plastic sleeves as news clippings from Annie’s art openings, Bruce’s ribbon cuttings, and Andy’s trade journal interviews.   

(Good God...it was an awful day for words. Bleh.Yuk.Ew.)

761 Words

“I’m not chasing you up there,” he shouted from the middle of the kitchen, knowing Casey could not hear him.  He reached into the refrigerator, pulled out two beers – one for himself, and another one for himself – then went to sit on the patio alone.  

(It's not as bad as it looks, friends.  It is day one of our ACL weekend, and I figured I wouldn't write anything today.  See what a little accountability helps me accomplish, though?  Leaving this fictional-dysfunctional-family-in-crisis behind until Monday.)

2566 Words

 I squint my eyes because my head hurts and trying to figure these things out makes a roar in my ears.  

794 Words

Dr. Rebecca’s parting words make Jake smile.  He catches himself before he starts to hum, but he can’t kill the image of his mother dancing in her studio to Marvin Gaye, singing the version of What’s Going On that sounded right to her.

What’s going wrong...tell me what’s going wrong...  

He looks into the fear numbed eyes of his sister, his father, and his mother's husband and thinks, “Just about everything, Mama, just about everything.”  

(I know. I know. It appears my commitment is waning. I'll pick it up tomorrow. Promise. Don't judge...it's sushi night!)

1493 Words

Jake can’t bear to look at Andy as he hears the words spoken aloud that they’ve all been processing and pushing aside for days.  

(Just plain lazy today. Having trouble seeing my way through a sticky spot in the story...don't feel like working as hard as I need to.)

1902 Words

“I’m not leaving you, Annie,” he said on the day he packed his last load of tools from the garage.  “I’m never gone.  I’ve just moved.  I will always love you.”  And Annie had been gracious enough or tired enough or drunk enough not to spit in his face.   

2053 Words

Jake is the family star.  No one has ever disputed that.  Tall and handsome with light brown hair and soft green eyes like Bruce, relaxed in his easily tanned skin and his unruly curls like Annie. 

(Got to within 171 words of my week's goal.  I'm pretty sure most of you smarty-panties are wondering why a woman wouldn't just go ahead and write 171 words and celebrate.  Well...just because.)  :-) 

1357 Words

I have been back to the loud machine today.  I have to be as un-drugged as possible for the machine visits because they do not want me to move, which apparently I do involuntarily if I am not awake enough to stay still by the strength of my own will, which seems to be fairly diminished. 

It’s a bad system.  

(Fail today.  Almost 1K words short.  On the plus side, I had a nice visit with a friend...which is always worth a little word shortage. Headed for 11K total by Sunday.)

2236 Words

  Andy tried to be upbeat, tearfully and haltingly describing the familiar light in Annie’s eyes and the cute new crookedness of her smile. “She’s a bit of a bad caricature of herself,” he told them. “Some things more exaggerated than usual.” 

 

(Ugh. It was all work today. Double ugh.)

2226 Words

“¿Qué pasa hermana?”  It had really not occurred to Jake that something dire had happened until that extra second of silence Carly allowed after his usual greeting.  The way she said Oh Jake almost pitched him to his knees.  He braced himself against a wall.  “What is it, Carly?” 

(Oh it was a writer's most wretched day.  I got depressed when I saw I didn't even place in the top 30 - winner, four runners up, 25 honorable mentions (!) -  in a short story writing contest I entered...then I absolutely could not like one single word or thought or sentence I put on the page.  These are the days that separate the crazy from the sane...and yes, I know which camp I attend.  Whew...glad it's over.)

2234 Words

Bruce shifts his shoulders a bit at the door before he opens it, lifting – he hopes – the heavy cloak of dread and sadness he knows he’s wearing.  He pushes quietly at the lock and eases into the entryway. 


(Okay...I know I didn't catch up today, but I did hit the mark...just.  This is how deadline freaks work.  I started by re-writing most of what I wrote yesterday...so if yesterday's sentence seems to be in a slightly different voice, that's why.  I am also wondering how long caramels last, since I opened a bag I found in the pantry and ate about 200 of them while I was pounding away here.  They tasted a bit funny.  Oh well.  Now I'm wondering how late Pei Wei is open...look for a finished book and a fat butt on my birthday!)  

723 WORDS

When they are finished, they bring me drugs that make me groggy and blur the pain, but the basic memories I have on the chalkboard of my brain are never smeared.  

Hello Friends

Here's what's going on.

I am going to finish my third novel before I turn 60.  Which is soon.

In order to do this, I need to blast through every writing insecurity/excuse/delay tactic I have embraced so fully for the last year and throw 2200 words a day onto a page.  If you need a point of reference for how ridiculously out-of-reality-based the task before me is...here's how today went:

I was up waaaay too early to take the hubs to the airport (4:30 AM), so - natch - I could not begin this morning.  I needed a little nap...at least 30 minutes.  It was 90 minutes.  I needed to walk, of course, because walking gets the creative juices flowing.  Two miles in 190% humidity. So I had to have a shower and a little bit of make-up (you know, in case the UPS man came to the door today).  Then I needed to stock the fridge with healthy foods, so...off to the grocery store I drove.  But the healthiest olive oil is only found in the toniest little shop, so...I had to go there too.  And while I was out, I really needed to stop by Mom's house to explore the beeping sound that has been plaguing her for four days...

When I got home, I realized the pool was green and needed attention.  The bird feeders were empty.  The mailbox was full.  I was hungry.

I finally got to the desk at 3 and started researching things like traumatic brain injuries and car rollovers, which made me sleepier than you can imagine even though I saw some awfully graphic videos (do not Google car rollover images).  So I needed another nap.

At 6 PM, I came back to the desk with a cup of coffee, a glass of water with an orange slice in it, and absolute determination.  But I couldn't ignore the tab I'd left open on my desktop that reminded me I needed to finish shopping for appliances for my soon-to-be-remodeled kitchen.  So I did that.

Now it is 8:45 PM, and I am happy (almost delirious) to report that I got 723 words on 2 pages today.  They are important words.  The opening words.  The starting block.  The announcement to myself - and now to you - that I am actually going to do this.

But I am a long, long way from 2200 words, and I am hungry again.  Sigh.

My proposal to you is this...if you will keep me accountable, I will feed you the essence of this book in tiny little bites.  One or two sentences a day.  I will also tell you how many words I wrote.  They will be here every single day between now and November 24.

You might want to wait until the sentences pile up to come take a look...you might want to check on me every day.  I promise not to take up your time with excuses.  There will be at least one sentence here every danged day.  The word count will be the daily blog title.  The body of the post will be my small offering of the day.

Feel free to edit when necessary.

Here's to fast reading...and even faster writing.  Thanks for sharing the Journey to 60.

Peace. Love. Miracles.